A little scared..
Well my sister and mother-in-law stopped over for a little bit tonight after they got off work. I have to say we were having a pretty good time and then we started talking bout the first time I got sick with Colitis.
It was late one evening and I had just finished supper and wasn't feeling good at all. I started to go to the bathroom and I couldn't stop. Everyone had went to bed, and I thought wow I feel horrible. After like 15 minutes of being in the bathroom my sister Felicia came out of room and asked if I was okay, and I said I really don't know. She looked at me and commented on how pale I looked and said I should go into the emergency room. Well we went in and got checked in, and they said I needed a parent since I was underage. So we had to call and have my dad come down, and needless to say he wasn't too happy. He thought I had the flu or something and said I was being dramatic. Well once I got their I started getting sick like every 30 minutes, along with passings pure blood in my stools every time I went which was ALL the darn time. So needless to say they kept me overnight and it was the worst night ever. I knew they had said they were unsure if I would have made it through the night.. and that has stuck with me.
Well, my sister said to me and my mother in law tonight that the Dr. told her if I would have waited till morning to come in, I wouldn't be alive.. and that is the first time I have heard that. . and I don't know why but it is eating at me. That scares me to think. I knew they said they were unsure I would have made it but when she said that it triggered something inside of me.. and I am fearful and so scared.
I am very thankful that God was with me and got me through that night, but now I feel like I just relived that night all over again this evening in talking about it.. am I alone or does someone else get those fears that hinder up on you and then feel like they are suffocating you?!
All I want is to rid of this disease ulcerative colits, and live a normal life in terms of tummy issues and bowel movements. . I am tired of this disease eating away at me.. and I get scared with each flare will it end up like the first time or take my life?
It was late one evening and I had just finished supper and wasn't feeling good at all. I started to go to the bathroom and I couldn't stop. Everyone had went to bed, and I thought wow I feel horrible. After like 15 minutes of being in the bathroom my sister Felicia came out of room and asked if I was okay, and I said I really don't know. She looked at me and commented on how pale I looked and said I should go into the emergency room. Well we went in and got checked in, and they said I needed a parent since I was underage. So we had to call and have my dad come down, and needless to say he wasn't too happy. He thought I had the flu or something and said I was being dramatic. Well once I got their I started getting sick like every 30 minutes, along with passings pure blood in my stools every time I went which was ALL the darn time. So needless to say they kept me overnight and it was the worst night ever. I knew they had said they were unsure if I would have made it through the night.. and that has stuck with me.
Well, my sister said to me and my mother in law tonight that the Dr. told her if I would have waited till morning to come in, I wouldn't be alive.. and that is the first time I have heard that. . and I don't know why but it is eating at me. That scares me to think. I knew they said they were unsure I would have made it but when she said that it triggered something inside of me.. and I am fearful and so scared.
I am very thankful that God was with me and got me through that night, but now I feel like I just relived that night all over again this evening in talking about it.. am I alone or does someone else get those fears that hinder up on you and then feel like they are suffocating you?!
All I want is to rid of this disease ulcerative colits, and live a normal life in terms of tummy issues and bowel movements. . I am tired of this disease eating away at me.. and I get scared with each flare will it end up like the first time or take my life?
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