A little painful
I love Christmas time, we do a lot of things as a family and I get to see Joy and Happiness on my sons little face as he opens presents.
I love playing with him around this time and I personally find massive amounts of joy from him make me very happy.
It is also a very hard time for me at some level because my B-day in on the 21st and that is bascialy the worst day out of the year for me even worse than DD is. It is a day that a couple years ago I broke my wife's trust in me and she in return went on her first date with her affair partner. We did go to MC before it turned into a full blown affair. He was not a very good counselor and well it obviously was not enough to make her thank twice about having an affair because it went on and got worse a whole lot worse over the next year even with all of my very best efforts to be a great husband. That makes this time of year very hard I remember him coming to our Christmas that year and having such a wonderful time with my wife with me right there. Wow I wish my birth day was not such a bummer for me now. I wish that my memories of the two of them together on Christmas were not so vivid and painful for me.
This year we do not get to put up decorations or do all of the Christmas stuff together that we normaly do either so that kind of makes it even a little more sad. We are packing and getting ready to move, I am very excited about that and hope so much that moving to another state will keep me busy and that I will slowly think about all of the painful emotions that happened while we lived in this city much less.
That I can move forward with a new year and a new place with a lot more hope for the future.
I love playing with him around this time and I personally find massive amounts of joy from him make me very happy.
It is also a very hard time for me at some level because my B-day in on the 21st and that is bascialy the worst day out of the year for me even worse than DD is. It is a day that a couple years ago I broke my wife's trust in me and she in return went on her first date with her affair partner. We did go to MC before it turned into a full blown affair. He was not a very good counselor and well it obviously was not enough to make her thank twice about having an affair because it went on and got worse a whole lot worse over the next year even with all of my very best efforts to be a great husband. That makes this time of year very hard I remember him coming to our Christmas that year and having such a wonderful time with my wife with me right there. Wow I wish my birth day was not such a bummer for me now. I wish that my memories of the two of them together on Christmas were not so vivid and painful for me.
This year we do not get to put up decorations or do all of the Christmas stuff together that we normaly do either so that kind of makes it even a little more sad. We are packing and getting ready to move, I am very excited about that and hope so much that moving to another state will keep me busy and that I will slowly think about all of the painful emotions that happened while we lived in this city much less.
That I can move forward with a new year and a new place with a lot more hope for the future.
Replies