A Little More on Detachment
I have to say, after reading the detachment chapter, it seems that I've already started to do that! Before I read it, I wondered how well I'd be able to detach. Now I know that I am capable, because I've already started to do so!
Examples:
- when H was upset with my son's summer school interim & was mad that "the teachers always do this" & how could he contact them, etc. I know he was expecting me to "take over", but the thing was, I didn't have a problem with the teacher--she was doing her job! Anyhow, I pointed out to him that since he picked up my son every day, he was there & there was nothing stopping him from going in the school & talking to her. Of course he didn't, but I did put it in his lap.
- I've stopped putting away everyone else's dishes into the dishwasher (unless I'd just emptied a clean dishwasher). Just my own!
- When he quit his job back in Feb, I did not offer to update his resume. What I did do is tell him to mark up the last one & I'd be happy to type it up for him. I haven't seen it yet, and I haven't nagged him about it. It's his resume, his career. NOT MY PROBLEM!
So anyway, I'm on the right road. The next chapter, which I just completed, is about nurturing yourself. I think I'm much better at that now that the kids are older & now that I know I've done everything in my power to help my son. The study questions shouldn't get too intense. However, the next chapter, "Facing your Fears" should be rather intense!
Examples:
- when H was upset with my son's summer school interim & was mad that "the teachers always do this" & how could he contact them, etc. I know he was expecting me to "take over", but the thing was, I didn't have a problem with the teacher--she was doing her job! Anyhow, I pointed out to him that since he picked up my son every day, he was there & there was nothing stopping him from going in the school & talking to her. Of course he didn't, but I did put it in his lap.
- I've stopped putting away everyone else's dishes into the dishwasher (unless I'd just emptied a clean dishwasher). Just my own!
- When he quit his job back in Feb, I did not offer to update his resume. What I did do is tell him to mark up the last one & I'd be happy to type it up for him. I haven't seen it yet, and I haven't nagged him about it. It's his resume, his career. NOT MY PROBLEM!
So anyway, I'm on the right road. The next chapter, which I just completed, is about nurturing yourself. I think I'm much better at that now that the kids are older & now that I know I've done everything in my power to help my son. The study questions shouldn't get too intense. However, the next chapter, "Facing your Fears" should be rather intense!
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