A little more input

  Just a note to self, a little information from my oldest son.  He is 43 yrs. old now, my how can this be.?  I don't know.  He lost his first wife 14 or perhaps 15 yrs. ago. It's hard to keep up with such things unless it happens to you.  I had mentioned that there was things here that I needed to do, such as pull out all the furniture in my bedroom and replace the carpet with the wood floor like I have in the  hall and kitchen.  It is really nice and should look good in there.  Plus, I would like to paint and then there's the bathroom that needs an update.  So very much to do but really no hurry, I'd just like to have it done.
  I mentioned that I don't sleep in there anyway, I just can't bring myself to sleep on the same very nice mattress that my husband died on.  My son said "I don't blame you, I wouldn't either".  He said who gives a crap what anyone thinks, I need to do what I think I need to do.  He said that going thru her, his wife's things, were the toughest. I'm glad that he had help with all that.  It wasn't me but I would have helped.  I didn't know what it was like to lose a spouse, like everyone says, until you go thru it for yourself, you just can't relate. That is so very true, until you know that kind of emotional pain, your are just on the outside looking in.  I still am sleeping too much during the day, I don't know why I started that !! I guess I feel like what the heck, I can do that, but that's not true, I have plenty to do around here !!  I really do need to "get a life !"  Anyway, the information from my son helped me more than he knows,(or maybe he does know).