A little Jealous...
I feel a little bad today....as I read through and see all the beautiful women get their long awaited BFPs...I can't help but feel a little sad and jealous. My transfer was put on hold and now I'm anxiously awaiting AF so that we can take the next step. I know it's wrong of me to feel this way...and I wish them nothing but the best...but I feel like this is fb all over again.
How do you wish someone well and feel jealous of them at the same time??? Does that mean that your well-wishes are insincere??? I hope not...because that is NOT my intention. I want others to be blessed and happy...I just wish I could join in on the fun....
Oh well..............
How do you wish someone well and feel jealous of them at the same time??? Does that mean that your well-wishes are insincere??? I hope not...because that is NOT my intention. I want others to be blessed and happy...I just wish I could join in on the fun....
Oh well..............
Replies
You\'re not alone Sister!!! I struggle with the same jealousy and the same question. But I do believe we are sincere, we have watched each other struggle so much and of course we want each other to get their long awaited BFP\'s but we are human and we are still sad for ourselves and our own situations when those BFP\'s don\'t yet belong to us.
I\'m currently hanging back with you waiting for AF. We can keep each other company and then hopefully early next year we will both have reason to celebrate :)
It\'s ok to feel this way girl! I think it\'s completely possible to be envious and sincere at the same time :)
We are all altruistic and honest in our happiness for others. But it also reminds us of our own struggles, and that sting never goes away. It doesn\'t mean you\'re insincere. It just means you\'re human and have many complicated emotions happening at once. Even some of us who do get BFPs still feel jealous of people who have more than one, or get many embryos to freeze, or who can afford multiple attempts, etc. Whenever you have something in your mind that you really want, and have trouble getting it, it\'s hard to see those around you having the thing you want. I think IF is a most poignant example of that. Hugs to you! We understand, and nobody will be mad if your congrats come with a bittersweet tinge. We\'ve all been there, or are there, too.
I\'ve struggled with that exact thing for almost three years. Yes, its totally possible to be happy for someone else, yet sad for yourself. But, like your status says, you are down but not out. Your transfer is not cancelled, just delayed a month. The little person you are creating will be with you for the rest of your life, so an extra 30 days may suck right now, but in terms of a lifetime, you can do it. xoxo
You are not alone in this friend. I think here in DS world it\'s a mix of things we are feeling. We do wish it was us that had the great news to share yes. But I think that a strong longing is being felt too with a splash of jealousy. I use the word longing because it is very similar to jealousy but there isn\'t a lot of ugliness tied to it like jealousy sometimes can bring out the ugly in people. I\'m not getting the sense that you are attacking or getting ugly to anyone on here. Your words are very honest and sweet.
I don\'t think it\'s wrong of you to feel this way at all friend! I think it\'s completely NORMAL and guess what we are in the same club:0) I think we all want that \"moment\" to happen for ouselves and there is nothing wrong with saying that and putting your words out there. It\'s ok to really really REALLY want it to be YOUR turn. You don\'t have to apologize or feel bad for feeling the way you do in the least. I hope your turn gets here very soon friend. *HUG!!