A Little Chat With God

God, I'm still here.    Each morning a new day begins that will become part of the rest of my life.  Sometimes it begins very ordinary, sometimes it's full of excitement and optimism, sometimes it seems incredibly discouraging.  When my eyes open to meet the day, I have no idea where my emotions will take me, but I am determined to make the day worthwhile.    Will the unknown ever become a natural expectation?   Only You know around the corners of my life.  Please bestow wisdom upon this mortal being.  There are so many occasions when I'm at a loss for discernment, and I plead for Your guidance and strength.  I trust that You have only good in mind for me, as I am your child.  You paid a great price for me, and I am eternally grateful for the precious gift of being called Your child.  I am ashamed to say that I lose heart on occasion.  The loneliness is overwhelming at times, and I cry out to You.  I am so very sorry that I am not stronger on this journey called widowhood, but I know in my heart that You understand and walk gently by my side as I strive to move forward.    Lord, You have brought so much happiness into my life.  I had a husband who was more than I could have ever imagined for a mate:   so kind, thoughtful, and tender.  We have children and grandchildren who have broadened my life and brought so much pleasure.  You thought me worthy to experience such contentment.  Why?  I will never know, but I will be forever thankful for Your benevolence.  Help me, Lord, to find my way out of the haze that threatens to overshadow the magnificent years you have allowed to be part of my life.    I laugh, I smile, I remember.         Thank you, thank you.    TJ