A little Anxious

Well, we have our counseling session today.  Now it will be time to put things into action.  I know what we have to do already but my husband needs to hear it from a professional.  Not sure he'll even hear this guy but he says he's open to what the guy will have to say.  My husband did say he's not ready to "kick him out".   We wouldn't be just "kicking him out" - we'll give him an option - drug testing, treatment, and follow our house rules.  If he chooses not to do so - then he's out.  I know we should have done this a long time ago but I cannot do this myself.  My husband wanted to wait until he completed his diploma.  I couldn't argue with that.  So now that he's done - we have to help him by not enabling.    Even as bad as it was with T - first time around - I still felt the urge to gather "proof" - computer conversations, looking for drug paraphernalia, cell texting messages etc - and sometimes I was surprised at what I found despite his obvious signs - arrests, his demeanor, school problems, etc.  * It's called the "Elephant in the Living Room".  Sometimes I couldn't tell if he was under the influence or not.  Last night - for the first time - I could tell.  There was no mistaking that he was high.  He told me his eyes were red because he was exhausted.  That may be but it's also because of something else.  Sigh.....

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

You do what you have to do ya know. Sorry this is weighing so heavily on your mind and your heart! Good luck with the counseling session today. Could be a real eye-opener for your husband. You can do this, just hope T. will be cooperative/receptive. Tough situation right now! Wishing you luck!! Hugs, D.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I was the same way several times this past summer with Gary. Even after all we had been through, I was still able to ignore signs. Part of it is being busy with life, and hoping you\'re just paranoid. Eventually though, a brick wall will fall on you. The good news is with each relapse you and he will gradually get stronger and more informed which makes dealing with this more tolerable. I\'m just glad we all have each other. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Getting the diploma done was really important! That\'s an important resource --for a lifetime. While your husband may not be where you are re \"enabling\" T; I am impressed that he is revisiting the counseling and support groups. This seems to be a big step -- not completely sweeping the situation under the rug. Of course there has to be a united commitment and follow through....so I am thinking good thoughts about the counseling process.....Hang in there! Remember to TAKE CARE of yourself!