A life changing decision

Sometimes I don't think people understand my sense of humor yet. Over the years I have seen some things being a first responder that the average person should never see. Yet being the adrenaline junkie I am I keep going back for more. The way I deal with all the tragedies is through a sometimes sick and twisted sense of humor. A lot of first responders, Law Enforcement and Emergency medical people do the same. I guess through humor its our way of coping. I have found I use humor to cope with the situation of having PE's and being a "Lifer" on Coumadin. It doesn't mean i take my situation any less serious.I am trying to deal with the fear I have everytime I step out my front door, and I have no intention of giving up my life to PE's. I have done some serious thinking though about my role as a wilderness Search and Rescue Dog Handler and I have made the decision to totally cut out the wilderness searches. I realize the probability of cutting myself badly or falling and breaking a bone is tripled by my being out in the steep terrain. I have decided that since my dog's favorite working area is Cadaver I may specialize in working just HRD (Human Remains Detection) and possibly evidence searches, and avalanche searches, which often times is still HRD. My daughter ordered me a new T-shirt in celebration of my decision. Its a Black T-shirt with white writing. On the front left corner it says "Dog Handler" On the back in Big letters is "Border Collie HRD Dog" Then under that is a picture of my dog Maks, and under his picture is in big bold letters "I Smell Dead People"  OK back to that sick and twisted sense of humor I mentioned earlier. I sat and cried all night after making my decision as I felt I was giving up a part of my life that i wasn't ready to give up. But this morning I talked to my team leader and he told me I was still serving a vital service specializing in HRD, I was giving families closure, by finding the remains of their loved ones. I'm sure my dog will be much happier just having to focus on his favorite smell of human remains. It was still a very hard decision but I can see my whole family is so much happier with this decision I have made.