A letter to myself, I guess
You were beautiful once, remember Mae? I think you were too little to really remember it. You were about six. After that everything went sour. You hurt yourself and you ate too much and look what you've created; a beautiful girl inside of this hiddious shell.
If you really dig you can still find that little girl. The one who ran around in tank tops and didn't care what other people thought. She performed monoulouges to trees and sang to birds. No one had ever really hit her or hurt her yet. There are still parts of her inside of you, you've just got to work to find her.
You have to find some self control and dicipline. Don't eat to please other people; starve to please yourself. After all, you're all that you have at the end of the day. When you go to bed at night, who's with you? Your script or sheet music. Not a boy or a friend. It's your career. And for your career, for your love, you've got to make a change. It's for the best.
You can do this. I know you can.
If you really dig you can still find that little girl. The one who ran around in tank tops and didn't care what other people thought. She performed monoulouges to trees and sang to birds. No one had ever really hit her or hurt her yet. There are still parts of her inside of you, you've just got to work to find her.
You have to find some self control and dicipline. Don't eat to please other people; starve to please yourself. After all, you're all that you have at the end of the day. When you go to bed at night, who's with you? Your script or sheet music. Not a boy or a friend. It's your career. And for your career, for your love, you've got to make a change. It's for the best.
You can do this. I know you can.
Replies
You write beautifully!! This is a very moving journal entry! Don\'t be too hard on yourself okay! I don\'t know your story but I get the impression from this line \"No one had ever really hit her or hurt her yet\", that you have been abused. I found a great poem about that and I posted it in the self injury discussion board. It is called \"For children who were broken\". I think it is beautiful! I was abused too. You can do whatever you set your mind too, but don\'t ever doubt that your beautiful just the way you are!!!