A letter to my addiction

I've been trying to write a goodbye letter to my addiction. Of course, it's not going anywhere but I can still tell it to kiss off right? While writing the letter, I have discovered that I'm really angry with it all. I f'n hate addiction. It can suck my d*ck... if I had one. 
What am I really mad at though? My addiction is me or it's a genetic predisposition or it's just a behavior pattern that became ingrained in my brain or it's a disease. Can I really be pissed that my brain tried to find any way it could to soothe my soul? I guess I can be mad that the universe threw me this curve ball but really why not me? 
I think that once I get my finances sorted out that I'll be able to find some peace in it all and be able to see my addiction as something that taught me a lot about life, my life. So here is where the writing leads me to the answers. I am mad at my financial situation, not my addiction. It sucks facing all of the damage my addiction caused. I am mad at how it makes me feel to have to admit that I didn't pay my bills for years. It's embarrassing. I'm freaking terrified of the meetings I'm going to have to endure to get my bankruptcy finalized. I hate that I'm going to have to work two jobs and I've got some nagging fear in the back of my head that the IRS is just going to throw me in jail. 
So my bad feelings right now are all about money problems. Yet, I keep dragging my feet when it comes to finalizing my BK.... out of fear I guess. I need to get over this hump and move forward. I'm going to call my attorney right now and get things moving along.