a lesson ilearnt yesterday

i havent written in my journal since forever and a lot has happened in the meantime, but i'm not gonna bore you all with inuendos that go nowhere.  i would like to tell of something that happened yesterday tho.   so here goes:those of you that know me, know that i have kept pretty positive about my hcv and everything else thats going on in my body right now.  no matter what news i have, i quickly come to terms with it and deal with it cos life goes on.  i am not one to just to give up.  i fight all the way and i will continue to fight.  i always find ways round everything and turn negative into positive at every opportunity, but thats me.  thats how i am and its helped me in many bad situations throughout my life.i have to say tho that since i started tx last month i have had more and more difficulty getting motivated and found myself giving in to the tx rather than fighting it and pushing myself to do more.   you can imagine, it started to get me down.  BUT not for long.  it wasnt gonna beat me!  i wasnt gonna let it!  so, i decided to start up at the gym again.  i thought perhaps if i could get into some proper exercise routine i would build up some much needed stamina, looking on it logically, that the more exercise i did, the more i would be able to do.  make sense???  yeah, course it does, and yesterday morning, i saw the kids of to school at 8am, showered and off i trotted.  got to the gym, went on the bike.  i usually do 20 mins at level 6 but cos i hadnt been for a lil while i did 10 mins at level 4, felt a bit feint when i came off so had a 5 min break and some water.  then i went on the cross trainer, but cut my usual 20 mins at level 6 to 5 mins at level 4 because of what happened on the bike.  i came off that and found i couldnt breathe, had to get assistance from the instructor.  was dumbfounded!  that is minimal exercise i thought and i couldnt even do that!  what was going on???i knew my hb count was down, platelets were down and my white cells too.  i also knew that my sugar levels were playing around a bit, but it was pretty worrying that i couldnt do a lil bit of exercise without getting so breathless, dizzy and feint.  i decided to ring my specialist nurse, told her what happened and all she could do was laugh!  she said, "its good you wanna go the the gym, its really good, fantastic even, but dont do it" reminding me that i hadnt long started tx and havent settled into tx yet and pointed out that a lotta ppl take themselves to bed on tx, especially with bloods down like mine.  i felt like a prize prat! lol  and have resigned to giving in for once to my present weaknesses and take her advice by doing a little walk each day. i guess its not a good idea to work out at the gym after all, worrying all the poor workers there. loli will still not give in to it all tho.  i will just do it bit by bit from now on. lolthought i would bring this to your attention in case any of you guys on tx have the same idea as me.  sure, its good to exercise, but only as tolerated.  just do as much as you can and not too much or you too could look like prize prats.be positive, be strong, be safe and be happy my friends:)luv yax