A kick in the butt I needed

So....I talked to Theresa last night. God only knows why she had stuck by me this long, but she has and for that I am so thankful. She made me cry last night,, and she cried, and in short she laid everything on the line she's been holding in for 18 years. She told me how she worries if she can't reach me or doesn't hear from me for awhile, and how she stays waiting for a phone call that he had finally killed me. She told me how she had money set aside for a lawyer so she could fight to get my children when he does. She told me how painful it had been for the people who really do love me to watch me change so much, and how horrible it felt visiting me in the hospital when my lung collapsed and how much worse it was that I lied to her, of all people, about the reason.  She then reminded me of how horribly wrong things go when I try to rationally tell him I want out. Thank God for my best friend. It was a painful conversation, and brought up awful memories, but it had given me renewed strength.