a journal entrie

today i had a moved up foot doctor appointment has my big toe was red and hurting. he said that the toe nail got to big he had to got off the who nail he bandage it and said it will be better in a day or two. my appointment was at 10 am didn't get in tell 11 am. than i had counsling with my new counslor at the vets center. he told me to grieve my cousin but not take on things i can't do nothing about it isn't good for my ptsd. he said what i know for sure is my cousin is dead and his head was smashed in. that he had been on drugs and was trying to get is life strighten out. all the other information i have is hear say. he said the cops could be on the drugs dealers payrool. they could be investigating and won't arrest am tell they have something to go on. he said it much be a supicious death because the state corner was called in to do the urtospic. they say it will take six weeks to six months to get that. that help being told not to take on something i can do nothing about. their might be a lot of things going on about my cousins death that i am unaware of. the serenity prayer in aa tells me to accept the thing i can not change change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference. this is something i need to rember. is wife doesn't work she has a lot of children with my dead cousin and lots of children from her first marriage. i imagine my uncle will let them live their rent free at is apartment house i am sure he would not want to put his grandchildren on the street. i am sure my uncle will hire attorney to fine out what is going on. he is so right i can't take these family problems on as it is not good for my ptsd and their is nothing that i can do about it.