A horribly hilarious reminder
So as gross and tmi as this is I realized I don't need a countdown calendar till I can be with my husband again, I have mother nature. I got my first period after having our daughter in 2013 on the day I dropped him off at the prison. And exactly 4 weeks later, it's back. So now every time I start, I get to think to myself, 'another month down.' I guess its my bodies way of celebrating making it through another month.
And I also read in his last letter that he's able to make calls again on Sunday. I so need to hear his voice again. We blew through his months minutes the first time around because we are literally never apart since we've gotten married and it was too much to not talk to him, sometimes twice a day. I've made a schedule though and mailed it to him so we can talk every day even if its for short amount of time. I think it'll be ok. There were times that he called before and we sat on the phone not really saying anything because, well, he does nothing but work and read there, and I do nothing but work and change poopy diapers here. But just hearing him breathe made it feel like he was here just out of my eye line. Even though that was amazing, this not hearing from him for a week is horrible. I've gotten a few letters but the last one was dated 3/9 so I don't know how he's doing since Sunday. I much rather get a update on a daily basis then have a week or so not knowing anything.
And I'm not sure if I've really processed my feelings on this whole situation yet. It's kind of hard too. When I start talking to his mom, I can't get out my anger at him for putting us in this situation, she just defends and I understand. When I talk to my mom, it's the opposite. She starts on how she's upset for doing this to her daughter and I get all defensive. And of course any of my friends that know about our situation can't believe I'm sticking by his side. So I refuse to discuss it anymore with them. Maybe my next post will be a explosion of random feelings that won't make any sense to anyone else but I can get them out there at least.
And finally....why the heck haven't I been using the Helvetica font. Need to remember that I can change the font of these entries.
And I also read in his last letter that he's able to make calls again on Sunday. I so need to hear his voice again. We blew through his months minutes the first time around because we are literally never apart since we've gotten married and it was too much to not talk to him, sometimes twice a day. I've made a schedule though and mailed it to him so we can talk every day even if its for short amount of time. I think it'll be ok. There were times that he called before and we sat on the phone not really saying anything because, well, he does nothing but work and read there, and I do nothing but work and change poopy diapers here. But just hearing him breathe made it feel like he was here just out of my eye line. Even though that was amazing, this not hearing from him for a week is horrible. I've gotten a few letters but the last one was dated 3/9 so I don't know how he's doing since Sunday. I much rather get a update on a daily basis then have a week or so not knowing anything.
And I'm not sure if I've really processed my feelings on this whole situation yet. It's kind of hard too. When I start talking to his mom, I can't get out my anger at him for putting us in this situation, she just defends and I understand. When I talk to my mom, it's the opposite. She starts on how she's upset for doing this to her daughter and I get all defensive. And of course any of my friends that know about our situation can't believe I'm sticking by his side. So I refuse to discuss it anymore with them. Maybe my next post will be a explosion of random feelings that won't make any sense to anyone else but I can get them out there at least.
And finally....why the heck haven't I been using the Helvetica font. Need to remember that I can change the font of these entries.
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