a horrible night
i feel really sad and hurt tonight.my 12 yr old son who was sexually abuse by my sister's husband told me he hates me and that he blames me for everything bad that has happened to him.he said he wants to go stay with his dad but his dad always has an excuse not to take him.but my son still thinks he is the best dad. i just hope that my son would realize how difficult this is for me as it is for him.i know he is the victim of the abuse but i deal with it too.i think about it everyday.it has broken our family.my sister hates me,i seldom see my mom anymore,my other sister is too far .my mom and my aunt thinks that i should just drop the charges and just forget about it.but i can't.what would that tell my son.that i don't care about him,that he doesn't matter???i really don't know what to do anymore.
Replies
Shattered, I\'m so sorry you\'re going thru this horrible time, and your son as well. If you made a police report, you should be able to get free counseling for your son thru the victims of crime compensation fund in your state. The local police or the county prosecutor\'s office should have the referal info you need. I believe you can also get counseling as a secondary victim. Your son was very brave to come forward and tell you. Believing him and reporting it was the absolute right thing to do. Make sure you tell him often that you\'re proud of him and love him very much, and that if people chose to stick their heads in the sand about this, then you don\'t need them around. Coming here to join and post is a good step; you\'ll be able to find support from people who understand. Post anytime you have questions, need support, or just to vent. But if you haven\'t already, get counseling for you and your son--it helps! Take care, you\'re n my thoughts and prayers.
We have gone to the police,it has been almost 2 years.We both have testified in front of the prosecutor\'s jury and everything,did the medical exam on him but nothing seems to be happening.The abuser is still going about his life like he did nothing wrong.My son did counseling and I did too once in a while.The county provided it,but the therapist thought that my son is fine so he stopped the sessions in December .I guess one reason is that my son doesn\'t talk much .He has seen two different therapists in 2 years,the last one was only for about 6 months.
My husband,as we are still married,has been in jail 3 yearsand is now deported back in our country.He was the reason we had to live with my sister,her kids,and this monster who we thought was an angel because he opened his home to us.I never said anything degrading or bad about my husband to my soneven when he was in jail,and he asked me why?I just told him he made a wrong choice of friends and got in trouble.He was never a good husband,not a good provider,but was a good dad.we got evicted 2x,that was really hard for me but never said anything.my son doesn\'t remember any of the bad expiriences i\'ve had with his dad because i\'ve always tried to shield him from it.I now question myself if that was the right thing to do.I am thankful that i found this group.it makes me feel that i\'m not alone.