A horrible dream
I am usually fairly calm and optimistic about most things. I don't get really worked up over much and things that bother most people (like speaking in front of large crowds, giving presentations, taking tough exams, etc.) have never bothered me. But sometimes my subconscious surprises me and I'll have terrible dreams about something big that's upcoming.
I am in charge of a scholarship pageant for young women. I have been for 9 years now and with an excellent committee, this event is usually pulled off quite successfully even with the ever-present bumps in the road. But about a week before the event each winter, I have "pageant dreams" where everything goes horribly wrong and I lose all control. It happens every year even though I feel pretty good (or so I think) about how everything is coming together for the big night.
Now my "pageant dreams" have manifested themselves in "ultrasound dreams". Although I am fully aware something bad can still happen, I feel really good about this pregnancy. I feel much better physically now that I'm not on the PIO shots anymore, I am eating well, sleeping a lot to keep up with the exhaustion, and overall I'm really happy. But somewhere deep down I must be freaking out about the ultrasound. Last night's dreams were that there was nothing on the screen, and they told me my progesterone levels had dropped too much to maintain the pregnancy and I would lose it/them. In my dream, I was crying and asking them why in the world I only had one beta then, and why didn't they bring me in for another beta to monitor the hormones before just telling me to quit doing the shots?! It was just awful!
I woke up thinking I can't believe I still have to wait seven more days to get that confirmation that my baby(ies?) has developed from a sesame seed into a lentil and finally into a blueberry by the time the ultrasound takes place. I'm sure everything will be fine but seven days feels like another eternity to wait. And that's eight more nights of possible "pageant dreams"! Ahhh!!! No one ever warned me about all of these crazy side effects. :)
I keep my faith in the Lord... now if I could just place my concerns fully into His hands and let it go... God is great!
I am in charge of a scholarship pageant for young women. I have been for 9 years now and with an excellent committee, this event is usually pulled off quite successfully even with the ever-present bumps in the road. But about a week before the event each winter, I have "pageant dreams" where everything goes horribly wrong and I lose all control. It happens every year even though I feel pretty good (or so I think) about how everything is coming together for the big night.
Now my "pageant dreams" have manifested themselves in "ultrasound dreams". Although I am fully aware something bad can still happen, I feel really good about this pregnancy. I feel much better physically now that I'm not on the PIO shots anymore, I am eating well, sleeping a lot to keep up with the exhaustion, and overall I'm really happy. But somewhere deep down I must be freaking out about the ultrasound. Last night's dreams were that there was nothing on the screen, and they told me my progesterone levels had dropped too much to maintain the pregnancy and I would lose it/them. In my dream, I was crying and asking them why in the world I only had one beta then, and why didn't they bring me in for another beta to monitor the hormones before just telling me to quit doing the shots?! It was just awful!
I woke up thinking I can't believe I still have to wait seven more days to get that confirmation that my baby(ies?) has developed from a sesame seed into a lentil and finally into a blueberry by the time the ultrasound takes place. I'm sure everything will be fine but seven days feels like another eternity to wait. And that's eight more nights of possible "pageant dreams"! Ahhh!!! No one ever warned me about all of these crazy side effects. :)
I keep my faith in the Lord... now if I could just place my concerns fully into His hands and let it go... God is great!
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