a heavy heart...
I woke up this moment at around 7:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep. My mind immediately went to wanting to be a mom. I should be with my baby, I should be enjoying my kids on a Saturday morning. The feeling quickly went to sadness, anger, and then frustration because once again I can't do anything about my situation but pray and cry and get over it!! I am so very tired of this journey. It's such an intense feeling. Its even more intense when I am alone. Then, I have to yell and scream and there is no way I can call anyone because they don't get it. And once again I have to tell myself, think of your blessings, and get over it because I can't let this steal my joy or day away. I just needed to vent these feelings.
Replies
I know exactly how you feel sweetie. And its SO hard to think of your blessings when all you want to think about is what you dont have. Since Im doing this breast cancer awareness walk next saturday I am trying to focus on that and what i do have which is my health. They can always use volunteers! it\'s at Silver Springs park- registration is at 730 and the 3mile walk is at 9 am. I put up a journal entry about it...there\'s a link to go to to donate ,but you can also find information there about the organization. I\'m going to start working with Making Strides against breast cancer so that I can meet new people and give myself a healthy focus, instead of focusing on negatives. I\'m going to do something positive in my life, whether I am a mom or not. Think about it. I would love to meet you and this would be a great way to remind yourself of your blessings!!!!!
Hang in there hon. We all love you and know what you\'re going through!
Once again I know how you feel but dont ever feel like you don\'t have anyone to call. You can ALWAYS call me because I truley understnd and wont pass judgement on your feelings. Im so sorry you woke up with a heavy heart and mind. I will continue to keep you in my thought and prayers and never give up.
~love Joi
ladies you bring me to tears, Well I am off to do my hair, and toes done. That puts a smile on my face
Boy do I know how you feel. I feel more helpless than anything lately. I hope that the day brought you some joy...after all tomorrow is Sunday and you could sleep in abit.
I was thinking about it the other day and how most people are absolutely clueless when it comes to the process that makes a baby. So many people have babies without ever understanding what a miracle each one truly is. This journey is so hard because it is like a taboo subject that no one talks about and everyone suffers through in silence. It\'s easy to talk to some people like the ladies here but in the everyday world no one understands and I to feel like screaming at eveyrone who says to me well you just have to relax and not think about it. If it was that easy I would have done that a long time ago. I feel your pain honey. I\'m always here for you. XO :)