A harrowing day on Friday
ON FRIDAY I MET WITH MY SISTER FOR THE PURPOSE OF EATING LUNCH TOGETHER AND THEN GOING TO WAL-MART TO USE THE $20 GIFT CARD I WON FOR MY BIRTHDAY IN DEC.
THE DAY STARTED OUT POORLY BECAUSE I HADN'T SLEPT WELL THE NIGHT BEFORE. I HAVE DIFFICULTY WALKING AND IF I'M TIRED, MY LEGS ARE MORE WEAK AND WOBBLY. I USED THE CANE (WHICH I HATE), BUT IT STILL DIDN'T GO WELL. I TOLD MY SISTER THAT I WONDER HOW MUCH LONGER I WILL EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK. A DEPRESSING THOUGHT.
WE ATE LUNCH AT A RESTAURANT CALLED 'HAPPY VIBRATIONS'. THEY HIRE PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES. THEY ALSO SERVE SOME MIGHTY WEIRD FOOD. I SETTLED ON 'BUFFALO MEATLOAF' WHICH TASTED RATHER GAMY, AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT. I ORDERED A SIDE OF CINNAMON APPLES AND A SIDE OF MAC & CHEESE. I DIDN'T ENJOY MY LUNCH BECAUSE I KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO GO SHOPPING WITH MY SISTER AT WAL-MART.
MY SISTER WENT INTO WAL-MART HERSELF, LEAVING ME LOCKED IN THE CAR. SHE BOUGHT ME A REAM OF PAPER FOR MY PRINTER, A BOX OF BIRTHDAY CARDS, SOME ORANGES, AND 2 DIET SODA BOTTLES. SHE WAS GONE A LONG TIME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO TO DIFFERENT AREAS OF A VERY LARGE STORE.
WHILE SHE WAS GONE, A BUNCH OF YOUNG BLACK MEN WERE HOVERING AROUND THE CAR. EVEN THOUGH I WAS LOCKED IN, I WAS REALLY SCARED. THERE I WAS, AN OLDER WHITE WOMAN HOLDING MY PURSE. I FEEL MORE DEFENSELESS AND VULNERABLE BEING OLDER. THERE ARE SO MANY VIOLENT CRIMES AGAINST SENIORS HERE IN RICHMOND!
MY ANXIETY LEVELS JUST KEPT RISING. EVEN AFTER MY SISTER RETURNED AND DROVE ME HOME, I WAS SHAKING ALL OVER. IN FACT, EVEN AFTER I WOKE UP THIS MORNING, I STILL FELT ANXIOUS.
A TON OF ADRENALINE AND CORTISOL STRESS HORMONES WENT INTO MY BODY. I'M SURE MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS SKY HIGH. I CONSIDER THE DAY WAS NOT GOOD!!!! THEN ON TOP OF THINGS I FELT GUILTY FOR BEING AFRAID OF MY FELLOW AMERICANS BECAUSE OF RACE. BUT AS I SAID, THERE ARE SO MANY VIOLENT CRIMES IN RICHMOND AND AWFUL THINGS HAPPEN TO SENIOR CITIZENS. ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS, IT'S NOTHING BUT SHOOTINGS!!!! AND THE CRIMINALS LOOK JUST LIKE THE GANG OF BLACK YOUTHS THAT WERE HOVERING AROUND MY SISTER'S VEHICLE.
FORTUNATELY I CAN STAY HOME FOR A WHILE.
THE DAY STARTED OUT POORLY BECAUSE I HADN'T SLEPT WELL THE NIGHT BEFORE. I HAVE DIFFICULTY WALKING AND IF I'M TIRED, MY LEGS ARE MORE WEAK AND WOBBLY. I USED THE CANE (WHICH I HATE), BUT IT STILL DIDN'T GO WELL. I TOLD MY SISTER THAT I WONDER HOW MUCH LONGER I WILL EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK. A DEPRESSING THOUGHT.
WE ATE LUNCH AT A RESTAURANT CALLED 'HAPPY VIBRATIONS'. THEY HIRE PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES. THEY ALSO SERVE SOME MIGHTY WEIRD FOOD. I SETTLED ON 'BUFFALO MEATLOAF' WHICH TASTED RATHER GAMY, AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT. I ORDERED A SIDE OF CINNAMON APPLES AND A SIDE OF MAC & CHEESE. I DIDN'T ENJOY MY LUNCH BECAUSE I KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO GO SHOPPING WITH MY SISTER AT WAL-MART.
MY SISTER WENT INTO WAL-MART HERSELF, LEAVING ME LOCKED IN THE CAR. SHE BOUGHT ME A REAM OF PAPER FOR MY PRINTER, A BOX OF BIRTHDAY CARDS, SOME ORANGES, AND 2 DIET SODA BOTTLES. SHE WAS GONE A LONG TIME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO TO DIFFERENT AREAS OF A VERY LARGE STORE.
WHILE SHE WAS GONE, A BUNCH OF YOUNG BLACK MEN WERE HOVERING AROUND THE CAR. EVEN THOUGH I WAS LOCKED IN, I WAS REALLY SCARED. THERE I WAS, AN OLDER WHITE WOMAN HOLDING MY PURSE. I FEEL MORE DEFENSELESS AND VULNERABLE BEING OLDER. THERE ARE SO MANY VIOLENT CRIMES AGAINST SENIORS HERE IN RICHMOND!
MY ANXIETY LEVELS JUST KEPT RISING. EVEN AFTER MY SISTER RETURNED AND DROVE ME HOME, I WAS SHAKING ALL OVER. IN FACT, EVEN AFTER I WOKE UP THIS MORNING, I STILL FELT ANXIOUS.
A TON OF ADRENALINE AND CORTISOL STRESS HORMONES WENT INTO MY BODY. I'M SURE MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS SKY HIGH. I CONSIDER THE DAY WAS NOT GOOD!!!! THEN ON TOP OF THINGS I FELT GUILTY FOR BEING AFRAID OF MY FELLOW AMERICANS BECAUSE OF RACE. BUT AS I SAID, THERE ARE SO MANY VIOLENT CRIMES IN RICHMOND AND AWFUL THINGS HAPPEN TO SENIOR CITIZENS. ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS, IT'S NOTHING BUT SHOOTINGS!!!! AND THE CRIMINALS LOOK JUST LIKE THE GANG OF BLACK YOUTHS THAT WERE HOVERING AROUND MY SISTER'S VEHICLE.
FORTUNATELY I CAN STAY HOME FOR A WHILE.
Replies
You have the right to be scared anywhere. As I get older I find that I watch people more. Hope you feel better and I\'m not so sure about buffalo meatloaf.
Im sorry you did not have a very good time out. I can understand your feeling afraid and vulnerable. You should not feel guilty for that. It does not make you a racist or a bad person. If there were a bunch of white kids hovering around the car you would have felt just as unsafe. You are a good person. You are a cautious person. Im sorry those bad feelings stayed with you even when you were safe back at home. Dont be hard on yourself over this.
Sorry you had a bad day, I understand the walking part, I\'m not able to shop in big stores anymore either, cannot walk that far. So glad you stayed safe though!
Judy, so sorry to hear that you did not get enough rest and had a bad day. Wishing you a restful night tonight!
My best, Elizabeth
Oh what a day you had. So, Sorry you couldnt\' enjoy it. It\'s a shame that you had to sit there afraid.
Did you ever consider the shoping carts with seats that you could drive. at least, you could get out of the cold and be inside?
I hope by now you are doing much better. I can\'t imagine how scared you were. I\'m happy you are home safe and sound.
Fear is a funny thing. you were afraid of a group of young adults , you had no idea why they were there. it\'s your feelings so you are not wrong in telling us how and what happened.
I would have felt threaten also! I know you don\'t drive but can you get a handicap parking permit for your sister or friend to use when they drive you about? I agree with Zee a good choice would have been to use the electric shopping chairs.
I hope you are calmer by now.
Love and Hugs!
comforting hugs, sent with our love, and healing energy prayers. Hi Judy, i\'m so sorry you had a rough day, and experienced awful exhaustion, and was unable to shop. i know you were disappointed that you didn\'t get to join your sister for the shopping adventure. there will definitely be another opportunity to shop. :) i understand, and so sorry that you felt frightened there. You have every right to feel that way, especially with the awful crimes on the news, it can really instill a few within us. even in our city, my family and i be careful, as there\'s always some sort of crime activities, that worries us, and makes us feel worried about going in certain areas of our city. i know the anxiety you experienced took a lot of you. anxiety can drain our energy.i pray that you took the weekend to rest, to re-energize, and to keep focused on going out with your sister next time, and that it will be a much better day. :) We send our love, many peaceful healing blessings, and comforting hugs, from our home to yours :)
I\'m so sorry that you had this experience. Sounds like the electric shopping chair is an excellent idea. Pray for the willingness to use it the next time to go shopping with anyone. Sending prayers.
This does sound like a horrible outing. Sending hugs, Terry
Take comfort in the fact that had it been a group of young white guys you may have felt the same way. Especially the skateboarding type lol. I know some people do. When my sons were teenagers I told them to meet me at the ATM one evening. I was going to a Christmas party and they were going to a skate park. I wanted to give them some money. While I was at the bank a lady kept hanging around while I made my transaction. When I was finished she walked up to me and said something about the suspicious men in the \"old white car.\" I thought I would crack up, and you should\'ve seen her face when I said \"maam those are my sons.\" Hilarious. I did appreciate her concern though. : )
I am so sorry you went through this. those anxiety attacks are very scary. I have been there! All you have to do is watch the news and understand how you can feel anxious, locked in a car by yourself. Wow!