A greater understanding...

When I was first told I had I cancer, the surgery had already been done so it was just a case of get on with chemo and get back to living life. This time round I've had to live with the knowledge that my cancer is more than likely back, have a number of tests and then get referred to a completely new specialist, which so far has taken nearly 5 months and I'm only just getting to see the specialist this week. I've always known that last time round in a lot of ways I had it easy by not having to wait for the results of test after test. This time around of I've had to go through what most other people have gone and have been flipping between not really thinking about, sometimes feeling it can't be real (to look at me I look perfectly healthy) and OMG. On the whole outwardly I don't feel stressed but inwardly I  know I am, at times I get a little short tempered and just lose my appetite especially as the specialist appointment draws closer.