A future that will never happen
A couple of months ago, when my wife and I were still contacting each other after she left, I had dreamt of a daughter that I will never get to have with her. We named her after her grandmother. In my dream, I was watching her while my wife was at work. It was bedtime for her so I called out her name. There was silence, so I asked if she was here. She playfully answered, "maybe" with a giggle. I walked to the living room and I could see her on the couch with and her face as she surrounded herself with pillows and blankets like she thought she could blend in with them. I told her I saw her and she got up and laughed and ran towards me. She had curly, blonde hair like my wife. I picked her up and told her it was bedtime. I asked her if she needed to use the bathroom and she said yes. I asked her what she needed to do and she said she had to go poopy. I put her down and she ran to the bathroom. I asked her if she needed any help and she said confidently, "I can do it."
That was when I woke up. I had hoped it was a dream into the future. There are times where I felt like I have dreamt certain that turned out to be real. Nothing big, but hoped that dreams were an actual vision of the future. A vision of what would soon come. It pains me to think that my wife would carry the other man's child once the divorce goes through. She did not tell me that would happen, but I believe will happen.
Replies
the hardest, yet most critical stage, following mourning the loss of your relationship is to not over romanticize memories especially those which were unrealized, its the next stage before changing the focus to yourself
its tough to hear that she may be happy again with someone other than you, but dwelling on it only gets you stuck, break the thought cycle, you're only tormenting yourself
I too tend to romanticize what it would be like if my husband were to come home. You are clearly someone who loves with your entire heart and soul. You deserve to give that love to someone who will love you the same in return. Easier said than done. But she absolutely isn't the only woman on the earth that can make you happy. There is someone out there just waiting for you to come along. When I catch myself dreaming of reuniting with my husband and how beautiful it would be, I try to ask myself what it would really feel like. It would be awkward and strained and would require a lot of counseling and hard work to get it back on track. There would be arguments and regrets of reuniting. I could forgive but I would never forget. There would always be doubt somewhere in the back of my mind. Really dig deep and picture what her return would look like. Maybe not as romantic as you think?