A fall and a rise
Well, I have to start over... On Saturday I lied once on such a stupid thing it is even hard to tell. I said I hadn't watched a movie I actually had seen just few days ago. I don't know why... So - my counter started again...But this time it looks far better than before. Yesterday I had a difficult talk with my Wife. I told her I had joined this goup and confessed I'm a compulsive liar. She about many things I said I had done - most of them I wasn't to happy about what I did and most of them were lies. I was honest this time. All the time. Every single word. It was awsome. Still not all my lies were told (She knows that) but I already said about many things. And even though it haven't changed her decision about divorce, I fell better. I know I can stop lying, I can be honest even if I am talking about things I did wrong. I don't have to be forced, catched on a lie.By the way I have noticed one thing. I believe, that for most people it is normal that when they are asked about something, the first answer they think of is the truth and if they want to lie they have to concentrate. For me it is different - the first thing that comes to my mind is what the other person wants to hear from me and I have to concentrate to think what is the truth. And to tell it. I'm curious - is it the same with others?
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Ister - That is exactly how it is with me. My brain immediately comes up with would be best to say in the situation (to protect me, to avoid problems, to pacify the other person), and not what is true. I have committed to my wife that I would ask myself if something is true or not before I say it, yet some lies are on my lips almost before I realize it. I always thought as you do - that the first thing that comes to mind is the truth and that a lie is a conscious changing of what is true. Your insight is helpful to me, since maybe for compulsive or chronic liars the lie comes first. So now I need to stop and think and wait for the truth to come before I speak. I hope this helps. (12/9/09)
-MarkAW