A Down-To-Earth Conversation

Tuesday, June 23, 2009 - 2:20 PM When I saw Dale, my mental health therapist, yesterday, a stranger who overheard our conversation might have thought we were having a disagreement of some kind. He would have been inaccurate.   Dale asked me how I had been feeling. I said that I had been "pretty depressed." He looked at me and asked, "Pretty depressed or very depressed?" I thought about my answer for a few seconds, and then said, "Very depressed."   I was asked to rate my depression on a scale of 1 to 10, with one being low and 10 being high. I said that I did not like these types of games, but would give him an answer, which was a seven. Dale said it meant that my depression was really a nine because most people tended to rate the way they really felt at least two points lower than was the actual case.   He neglected to ask me whether I felt suicidal, but had he done so, I would have said no. I suspect that answer would have been a partial truth and lie, because I had been thinking about death on and off throughout the past month. I now seem to be past that stage, so I no longer feel suicidal.   Dale asked me if I had been having any thoughts about using drugs. I told him that I had been having several of them, and added that it had been hard dealing with my thoughts. I told him that I had been having some very bad cravings for drugs.   He told me that they had some group classes he could get me into if I needed to do that. I declined his offer thinking to myself that I had been through most of the classes, so what was the use of going through them again. I have managed to stay clean for a year and a half, and I do not intend to let that go down the drain no matter what it takes.