A depressing day
Today has been a let down for me. I feel depressed and almost suicidal. And I dont know where the hurt is coming from. I know that I did drink 2 beers last night. And I haven't taken my meds in about 3 days and I've been over-loaded by the kids. And i could only pay $200 of my $398 light bill and I was kid-free Saturday afternoon until this afternoon{almost 24 hours}. But I still do not know why I feel depressed and suicidal. I just do not know what this pain is that I'm feeling. Do I feel outraged, neglected, used, abused, selfish, hurtful, overwhelmed, over-confident, confused, heartbroken, like a failure. I just cant put my finger on it. Sometimes when I feel this way, I end up trying to do myself in. Someone please give me some advice, before I end up doing something stupid and either kill myself or attempting to...No matter what I still wont put another stupid cancer-stick in my mouth........................ But that should be the least of my worries right now. I think I'll go to the laughter room and try to find something to laugh about. Maybe take my mind off my thoughts. Because if I don't I'll go and do something stupid with the lidocaine I have and all the meds. Bye for right now, I'll talk to you soon. Off I go to the L ROOM.
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