A Day In My Life, Not The Quality Of Life I Would Like

Oh my goodness, my breathing has been so bad for the last couple of weeks.  I went through tons of albuterol just to maintain.  I feel like my lungs are full of thick gunk.  I can't feel it but my chest feels tight.  I have a six minute walk and breathing test at the end of October (10/31) to see if I qualify for the spiration trial.  I failed the test once because I had taken predisone on the cruise and took the test 2 days after I got home.  I did too well on one test by one number.  They want to retest, they said I was really bad and need this trial.  Whatever that means, I have never seen a pulmonary doctor about my condition just the pulmonary medication guy. I don't want to take anything that will prevent me from failing the test again. I have been taking a ton of mucinex, I believe it helps some.  Self care is so difficult.  I work four 11 hours shifts and it's been taking me 2-3 hours just to get myself ready to get out the door.  I have to stop and catch breathe after every little effort.  Then walk out to the car, sit there until I can breathe again. Drive to work and walk a block to the office.  I take the elevator to the 2nd floor, (after listening to the other peoples ridicule about how I'm lazy - always different people and I don't feel like always explaining).  Walk down the hall, sit at my desk and spend 5 minutes trying to recover.   At least I don't have a physical job.  Many times I haven't had time to prepare for lunch so I have to go out the repeat the walking to my car at lunch (going to my car is the harest because it inclines up).  Finish my 11 hour shift.  Hope I don't fall asleep again on somebody and get into trouble again.  Work with 65 clients throughout the week all manadated by the court. Try to stay focused, (if I screw up it can drastically affect their life including jail). Leave there after 11 hours, sometimes with no lunch.  Walk that incline to my car.  Drastically out of breathe because the Advair is wearing off and the albuterol isn't doing the trick (have played with the times I take it to try to prevent this).  Spend another 5 minutes recoverying and drive home.  Go home, gasping for air by the time I get in the house, feel guilty because I haven't been able to exercise for 30 minutes  or do any self care for myself and I'm exhausted.  I quit sleeping in my bedroom because it's up stairs and just don't want to deal with it.  Have to get up in a few hours  and repeat the process.  I avoid family and friends on the weekends trying to rest up and recover.  And I'm fearful as I feel myself declining, How Much Longer Am I Going To Be Able To Keep This Up! When I'm feeling good, this is not so difficult but not so lately.   I'm normally a very positive person but just haven't felt well, I will admit, today I feel much better, at least at the moment, that can change any time. I don't like all this negativety but when I finally see a doctor, I want them to understand what I personally have to deal with.