A day for gratitude
I could sleep all morning. Lie in bed, read a little, sleep some more. But it's Monday. I need to get dressed and get to work. Poor Drew, gray and way past exhausted -- in the last week of his tax season endurance marathon -- woke at 5 and couldn't sleep any more. He got up, fed the dogs, made himself a couple of egg sandwiches, and was drooping over the newspaper by the time I came downstairs. Now he has left and I feel the urge to check in with myself. The ritual of Mondays... beginning to feel the rhythm of it all...
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Background: he and I have been together since October 2000, and got married in January 2009, but only this winter finally both moved into our new home, which is an addition on my old very small house. It's the real thing, now, finally, to share all the little moments, the ups and downs, instead of three nights a week of giving someone your undivided attention. I really love this. Love breakfast, bringing in the trash barrels on Monday morning, saying "I'll see you tonight sweetie."
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Grateful for this life. Sad that Andy doesn't get his fair share of it. Anxious for the word from Heidi's dermatologist, tomorrow, on treatment for her melanoma, and hoping she has gotten over the awful vertigo that came from a virus last week. Hoping my parents are having a good time in Ireland... my mum's tummy is so delicate. Sending so much love to my cousins in NJ as they sort out the wreckage of their parents falling through levels, every week, of increasing dementia. Grateful for Byron and Caitlin and all our friends who are lifted by their love. And again, incredibly blessed by Drew, this rock of a man who trudges onward with me. Looking forward to June and our walk in Scotland.
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That's the update. And here's a poem. I'm thinking, reflecting on all the complexities and struggles and joys, that it is only with each other that things make any sense at all. So I am grateful for every kind of relationship, every community I know.
*******************************
A Great Need
Out of a great need
we are all
holding hands
and climbing.
Not loving is
a letting go.
Listen:
the terrain
around here
is
far too dangerous
for
that.
~ Hafiz, trans. Daniel Ladinsky
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Background: he and I have been together since October 2000, and got married in January 2009, but only this winter finally both moved into our new home, which is an addition on my old very small house. It's the real thing, now, finally, to share all the little moments, the ups and downs, instead of three nights a week of giving someone your undivided attention. I really love this. Love breakfast, bringing in the trash barrels on Monday morning, saying "I'll see you tonight sweetie."
---------
Grateful for this life. Sad that Andy doesn't get his fair share of it. Anxious for the word from Heidi's dermatologist, tomorrow, on treatment for her melanoma, and hoping she has gotten over the awful vertigo that came from a virus last week. Hoping my parents are having a good time in Ireland... my mum's tummy is so delicate. Sending so much love to my cousins in NJ as they sort out the wreckage of their parents falling through levels, every week, of increasing dementia. Grateful for Byron and Caitlin and all our friends who are lifted by their love. And again, incredibly blessed by Drew, this rock of a man who trudges onward with me. Looking forward to June and our walk in Scotland.
-------
That's the update. And here's a poem. I'm thinking, reflecting on all the complexities and struggles and joys, that it is only with each other that things make any sense at all. So I am grateful for every kind of relationship, every community I know.
*******************************
A Great Need
Out of a great need
we are all
holding hands
and climbing.
Not loving is
a letting go.
Listen:
the terrain
around here
is
far too dangerous
for
that.
~ Hafiz, trans. Daniel Ladinsky
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