A Day Off?

After 5 days of DS and 4 journal entries, I was pretty pooped and thought I'd take the day off and hang out with my dog, Sparky, and just relax.  But, little did I realize that grief does not take a day off.  Grief has no concept of time, nor does it care if you are tired or if you would just like to hang out.  So I popped in and out of the DS site while I watched the re-run of the Glenn Beck "Restoring Honor" rally on my computer.  My emotions were all over the charts as a result.  Watching a half a million Americans gathered on the Capitol Mall in the name of God, reaffirming their faith in Him was exhulting and quite inspiring.  What joy those people were experiencing.  Then I would pause the video, and come here to DS, why, I am not too sure.  Maybe it was because I needed to be with my friends here, yet I really didn't do a lot of reaching out for help OR butting into anybody else's grief either.  I sent a hug or two, a couple rays of sunshine, and that was about it.  But I wasn't nearly as miserable as I have been, and I guess that's a good thing.  The reality is that I think I sort of denied my feelings of emptiness for a time while I tried to do the stuff I used to enjoy doing when on line.  I like to blog and I get pretty politically engaged, but I really couldn't get into it much, even though I tried.  But I did get to see the rally and I did enjoy the experience.  I wished that my situation were different and that I could have been there, but it isn't, so I am here and not there.  What I learned is that I am where I need to be at this time and at this point in my life.  I don't need to hurry my grief, as I have the luxury of time, thanks to my son in law and my daughter providing me with a home and a place to recover from the awfulness that I have experienced watching my wife and my life deteriorate into nothingness.  I do realize how blessed I am when I read of so many others who have no choice but to go to work and provide for what is left of their families while they try so very hard to cope with their own personal agony.  I have taken up reading some daily Bible readings and devotionals and I think it may have a somewhat calming effect on me.  Anyway, there is no "day off" from grief, that much I know.  Other than that, I don't know much of anything.  But I am willing to learn...........