A Calm

J was much calmer after he came back from the real estate closing. Unfortunately, it was the flavor of calm calculation his father assumes while preparing to take out a jugular vein, but. . . Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer. We don't get to wake up one born-again morn as new people with a new set of conditioning and habits. His father's one-man nursing home is stable for the moment. May the one patient be well-served.

How long have I been calling the one-step-at-a-time approach to healing our family, "Learning new steps to the dance?" Time-line not important. Nor is the time-line important on how long we have been trying to master the, "Uncorking emotions" step. This morning finds me wanting to call the grandkids (GS, 3 and GD, 9 months), "The best dance instructors ever." J and I have enjoyed a magnificient, shared medicinal balancing in reveling in their direct and simple needs. I enjoy the "Gampy" of my "Gammy" much more than I enjoy the executive son. There is much to appreciate in the growing dynamics with their parental units. When the parental units showed up with our grands last night, my heart soared to see J lose his father's business demeanor and unfold into the beloved Gampy. The silver platter drama slid away and the resulting dance was a wonder to behold. It became one of those nights when GS was adamantly opposed to going home. At least, that is how the parental units translate, "Gampy House" when spoken in his most stubborn tones.

GS developed a habit of pulling unmercifully on his penis during the still-ongoing potty training. We suspect he has damaged something with all the pulling. His bedwetting has become constant and he is suffering bedwetter's anxiety. The Gampy who helped GS through this morning's round of waking up in a puddle of piss is the man who keeps me coming back. Can I surgically remove that jugular executive conditioning?