A broken heart is bigger

I met several friends for lunch yesterday and today. They are all good friends trying to comfort me or at least listening to me. In the conversations, I found myself explaining how my pain feels like-- a trigger, the feeling that a wave of sadness is coming, then like someone pounding his fists mildly on your heart again, again, and again, your heart then sinking into a black hole, and the heart staying in the hole and you feel like part of it is missing--or broken.
Now, I know why people use the term "broken heart" to describe us. A friend used to say, in this grief experience, your heart will be smashed so many times and it is in so many pieces scattered all over. But eventually, someone or something is going to come and magically put it all together to make it a whole again, then you find yourself becoming a person with more tolerance, wisdoms, and compassions. You become a better person. Indeed, a broken heart is always BIGGER.