A bit of a struggle

I find myself in a weird place in my co-dependency journey- as a co-dependent ; it's difficult -extremely difficult to not need someone to not put someone above my own needs- to not constantly call or message - and I have a very wonderful partner who I care for greatly; who is also good friends with my ex, to be truthful we are all friends. My current partner is busy and I know that if I call my ex he'll be ready and willing to talk. But I have already messed up before with my co-dependent insecurity. I will not call my ex- I will be patient and wait for my current. I will make myself busy and focus on myself. I will not continue to allow my ex to fill the void- I will fill it myself with the help of the lord. I will not lose out on a good relationship because of my irrational fears or my need for reassurance - I will be independent in this moment. I will not worry about either of them (My ex has moved on and has a girlfriend of his own) I will not emotionally vent to my ex - I will be strong in this moment and be brave and honest. I will seek out new friendships with people who understand how I feel. I will become strong enough to break off my constant neediness and emotional overloading. I will be rational in this moment and control my emotions. I am currently a little lonely- and could really do with a friend- a friend who will not judge me, and will understand my pain.