A BIG BLOW

My oldest sister Dian (63) died suddenly and unexpectedly June 30th while on an Alaskan cruise.  Her daughter (my niece I talk about so much being such a big help to me with my back) was with me when we found out, and has been with me pretty much ever since until a few nights ago.  My sister was a teacher and a great one at that.  She taught me senior English in high school, and college English was a breeze afterwards.  She was in college when I was in first grade, to give you an idea of our age difference, and she "mothered" me more than my own mother when I was little.  Because of her, I was reading on a sixth grade level in first grade, and always did well in school (when I applied myself).  She was a hoot.  Such a great storyteller, such a wonderful sense of humor.  I can't imagine my family without her.  The visitation was overwhelming.  I have no idea how many people were there, but you wouldn't believe how many came just to say their children had her as a teacher and what a difference she made.  She will be sorely missed.  I did smoke some when my cousin, aunt, and friend from Branson (heavy smoker) came down to stay with me for the visitation and funeral.  Also, one of the friends who quit when I did started back a few weeks ago.  He came over to swim and set off fireworks on the 5th in honor of Dian, and I smoked some then, as well.  I've taken a Chantix today, and am trying really hard not to relapse completely.  I could already tell the difference it was making in my breathing, and of course, it didn't help ANYTHING!  Those of you who pray, please keep me in your prayers.....