A Better Day
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 - 12:55 PM The first thing I did this morning was to call my home healthcare agency and ask that the CNA who I have not liked will be replaced. I explained some, but not all, of the things that happened with her since she first started about a month ago. The director of staffing said that she would take care of everything for me, and call me back. I just got off the phone with her, and she said that another person has been assigned to help me on the weekends, just as I had wanted. As it turns out, the replacement CNA is already working with me two nights a week, which will make the transition much easier for both of us. I am pleased with the way this is turning out. Later this afternoon I'm going to the grocery store with my personal care provider, Kelly, in order to get some medicine and a few food items. Last night I finally managed to set up an online account with King Soopers, so now I can order most of my food online, and have it delivered on whatever day I want. Since I can also pretty much choose whatever time I want it to be brought to my apartment, this might turn out to be a much better set up for me. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to see Dr. Martin. I am not sure what our main topic of discussion will turn out to be. I am starting to think that I need to talk to her about the time in my life when I not only lost my job, but also during which my father passed away in less than a year from when that occurred. Both events happened in 1982, and I do not think that I have ever really gotten over either one of them. I am aware that by switching topics like this, I will also be prolonging additional discussion regarding my sexual abuse. However, I think that losing a job and having a death in the family in such a short span of time, had a deeply profound, and long-lasting, impact upon my life. I never got over these things. I feel a need to talk to someone about them.
Replies
Hi Jim, I\'m so glad things are looking up for you once again. You are not alone in feeling like you have never gotten over your dad\'s death. I lost my dad to cancer very suddenly in 2001 and my mom to cancer in 1989. I feel I have never recovered from either death and am really not the same person I was before. Many hugs-Stephanie
This really does sound like a very productive day for you.
Problems were resolved.
Easy transitions are so much more palatable than abrupt change.
I like the store delivery thing.
Sounds terrific.
You may be delaying the sexual abuse aspect of your recovery.
Dr. Martin will let you know if she feels you really are in a state of avoidance.
They don\'t have a zip code in that state.
I should know, I spent a better part of my life there.
The really great thing about our recovery journey is that we can do it any way we choose to do so.
There is no wrong way.
The only time frame is our own time and pace.
Loosing a job and, most importantly, loosing your father are a very important part in your healing from the past.
You will get to the sexual abuse issues soon enough.
You may forget...you are the man that may swirl for a while in a multitude of
\" how am I going to solve this \" ....\" what should I do about this...\" kind of guy.
After some initial mild anxiety, you always...ALWAYS.......push the clutter to the side and move up to the issue and resolve it. Seriously, you always do come to terms with what needs to be done in your life.
I admire that about you.
You may be a softy most of the time. Eventually you become a realist and make accurate, logical decisions as to what to do with a certain aspect of your life.
I see no reason why that same problem solving ability, accompanied with the courage I have seen you display on may occasions, will help you come to terms with your resolution of past sexual abuse issues.
You will do it at the exact right time in a way that is perfect for you.
Of that, I have no doubt.
Pssstt ?? Did I hear a prediction for a possible foot of snow at the foothills of Denver ???
I think that recovery from the past should always be patient directed. It\'s vital that you feel safe there. Perhaps you are testing the waters to ensure your safety. It can\'t be easy to trust.
You lost your job? Did they fire you? Was it a job you liked? Latest research shows that those who suffered childhood trauma are less able to cope with stress in adulthood. I have mixed feelings about that. Some stresses are easy for me to cope with. Those that involve feelings are really hard though. I think it\'s then perfectly normal that you would have trouble getting over a job loss and a death but it can be done. We\'re here, along with your therapist, to support you through this transition.
Trust your recovery and let your mind do the leading. It\'s a strong and incredibly resilient mind.
If the death of your father and losing your job are what are floating at the top, then go for it.
Like Sam said, patient directed. There maybe some connection to all the rest of it you hadn\'t considered before.
Sorry I\'m late... But you know I\'m always with you
Hugs and Mojo
Weebs