A bad day

Today was one of my worst day.  i think I am finally accepting the death of my husband and realize that he will no longer be here.  I will not see his smile, hear his singing or voice.  I found myself crying all day long and feeling depressed.  I went to the gravesite twice today and I just cried and cried.  I cannot continue in this life it is to difficult and sad.  How can I continue living without my husband.  I miss him more than ever and it is hard for me to think that I will continue living without him.  My sister had promised to take me out of lunch and she never showed up and when I called her she did not answer her phone.  I got tired of calling her and finally I left her a message  saying that I understand that she has her life and family to take care of but would appreciate if she would tell me that something came up.  Finally about 2 hours later she called me telling me that she had to go to counselling with her daughter and she could not answer.  She was suppose to meet me at 1 oclock and she did not return my call till about 3:30.  It was a horrible day and to be stood up made it even worse.  I think I am a bit emotional because I miss my husband so much.  Oh God I love him  and I miss him.  My son is asking me to please take care of myself because if I keep this up I will go into depression.  Today is a horrible day and I just took some nyquil so I can go to sleep.  I will continue this another day. 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

please continue to take one day at a time i think it will be easier for you than to look to far ahead, my heart aches for you. Millie
lindalun
lindalun

Millie:
Thank you for your advice. Life just seems so empty and cruel. Our spouse have gone leaving such a void and death is the most cruel thing that can happen to someone. I miss my spouse so much that all I want is to have him again. My brain tells me that he was suffering and what happen was the best for him but my heart tells me different. I love him and miss him so much
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn

I\'m so sorry. I have been right where you are, feeling unable to tolerate the lonliness and terrible sadness. It\'s good you are giving yourself permission to cry and honoring your feelings of such pain.
You probably are right and you realize this isn\'t a bad dream, but it\'s what your life has become. You don\'t like it and neither do we. I wish you all the best and pray for peace to return to you as soon as possible. Sharon
deleted_user
deleted_user

This is still so recent for you and you have every right to feel the way you do. I am sorry that you should have to experience it, I just want to tell you that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and although it might seem impossible now, things will get better slowly. Love and many hugs.