A bad day

Today was one of my worst day.  i think I am finally accepting the death of my husband and realize that he will no longer be here.  I will not see his smile, hear his singing or voice.  I found myself crying all day long and feeling depressed.  I went to the gravesite twice today and I just cried and cried.  I cannot continue in this life it is to difficult and sad.  How can I continue living without my husband.  I miss him more than ever and it is hard for me to think that I will continue living without him.  My sister had promised to take me out of lunch and she never showed up and when I called her she did not answer her phone.  I got tired of calling her and finally I left her a message  saying that I understand that she has her life and family to take care of but would appreciate if she would tell me that something came up.  Finally about 2 hours later she called me telling me that she had to go to counselling with her daughter and she could not answer.  She was suppose to meet me at 1 oclock and she did not return my call till about 3:30.  It was a horrible day and to be stood up made it even worse.  I think I am a bit emotional because I miss my husband so much.  Oh God I love him  and I miss him.  My son is asking me to please take care of myself because if I keep this up I will go into depression.  Today is a horrible day and I just took some nyquil so I can go to sleep.  I will continue this another day.