Life
Life is so different for all of us on this site. We can recall what the holidays meant when our spouses were here with us. Oh the joy and thrill of seeing our children openning there presents, spending time with our family and friends and yes all the food. It seems so long ago since we all had that feeling. Now, we don't seem to enoy the holidays and all we want to do is sit in a corner and go unseen but is that what our spouses would want us to do? I know that Carlos was a person who loved the holidays and he was all into it. Everyone look forward to his cooking and he enjoyed every minute of it. He would be singing and my house had such a great aroma from all the food. How do I keep going? I want him to be proud of me and I need to feel him around and I know that by staying away and wallowing in self pity is not the way to be, so I have decided that I will dress up, listen to music, do the cooking and have some tequilla shots and make the best of it. I am not so sure about the tequilla shots because I think I will end up crying. I miss him so much but I have to be brave because that is what he would want me to do. He also use to say "Linda is a brave woman and she is my rock" I want to be that person he knew but it is so hard but I will do it at least for christmas even if it takes ever ounce of my strenght. So let us all try to think about what our spouses would expect us to do and lets try our best even if the next day we cry all day long. Wishing you all a merry chirstmas and may we all dream out our spouses because that would be the best christmas gift. Hugs to you all my friends. Linda
Replies
Have the best day you can, whatever that means for you - you can fake it till you make it, you can be who you are, or you can do a little of both! xxxx
On a Christmas card the signer wrote that they wished we could enjoy and appreciate all of God\'s blessings. It sounds like Carlos knew just how to do that. He could see in you things that you never knew were there and that are just now going to surface. I am certain that tomorrow at this time you will be glad that you dressed up and did that cooking Merry Christmas.
Have a shot for me and sweet dreams. Merry Christmas. Hugs, Kip.
I am going to church this evening. Getting all dressed up beause that is one of the things Richard loved. Then I will go to a friend\'s home afterwards and celebrate Christmas Eve with friends. Tomorrow, not sure what I\'m going to do. I have had several offers and I guess I need to make up my mind pretty quickly.
Your beloved Carlos would want you to be happy and enjoy the holiday with all good things. May your holiday be a blessed one.
Hugs, Carla
Linda - you\'ve come so far in almost 18 months! i can feel your strength in your journals. It\'s hard for us to see our own progress and easier to see the changes in other people. I think you have displayed a lot of bravery this last year and a half and Carlos IS proud of you. He didn\'t call you his rock for nothing:)
Linda,
May the blessings of Christmas bring you comfort. It is a difficult time but we are making our way through this journey with the friendships we have made here.
Hugs Linda
Linda,
So happy to hear that you are going to try for Carlos - I am giving it a whirl also, even though the joy of the season is still not within me. I know that Carlos would be very proud of you - wishing you peace during this holiday season. Merry Christmas Rhonda
yes, he is proud of you, I am sure wishing you a good xmas, Ill take a shot, lol,.. one wont hurt, tooo bad,.. =) thinking of you, wishing you the best,.. your friend,Dave
You are still the strong woman he loved and admired. I hope you and the kids have a good Christmas. Love and Hugs, Martha