Life

Life is so different for all of us on this site.  We can recall what the holidays meant when our spouses were here with us. Oh the joy and thrill of seeing our children openning there presents, spending time with our family and friends and yes all the food.  It seems so long ago since we all had that feeling.  Now, we don't seem to enoy the holidays and all we want to do is sit in a corner and go unseen but is that what our spouses would want us to do?  I know that Carlos was a person who loved the holidays and he was all into it. Everyone look forward to his cooking and he enjoyed every minute of it.  He would be singing and my house had such a great aroma from all the food.  How do I keep going?  I want him to be proud of me and I need to feel him around and I know that by staying away and wallowing in self pity is not the way to be, so I have decided that I will dress up, listen to music, do the cooking and have some tequilla shots and make the best of it.  I am not so sure about the tequilla shots because I think I will end up crying.  I miss him so much but I have to be brave because that is what he would want me to do.  He also use to say "Linda is a brave woman and she is my rock"  I want to be that person he knew but it is so hard but I will do it at least for christmas even if it takes ever ounce of my strenght.  So let us all try to think about what our spouses would expect us to do and lets try our best even if the next day we cry all day long.  Wishing you all a merry chirstmas and may we all dream out our spouses because that would be the best christmas gift.  Hugs to you all my friends.  Linda