Why

Today I received an email from my brother asking me how I was doing.  I  could not help but ask questions as to why did  this happen?  Why do people die?  Why is death so cruel?  Why do people suffer? I could not help but cry remembering my husband and all the plans that we had.  I kept remember the last day that I saw him and talked to him before he went into a coma.  I wish I would have stayed with him and just hold him forever.  I wonder if I did my best for him and how much more I could have done.  I love him and I miss him so much.  Today is the first day that I stepped into the church where I used to go and pray when he was in a coma.  I asked God to forgive me for being angry but I am hurt.  I started crying because all the memories of my husband came back.  I remember rushing to church to beg God to please make him well.  I prayed so many times for God to give him back to me.  I asked God to please help me with this pain and to give me the comfort and courage to continue.  I asked him to guide me and my kids to have the strenght to carry on.  I asked God to help my kids to find their way and to make them follow the good path.  I told him you took away my husband then please protect me and my kids.  Be our guide and my husband to be my guardian angel.  Let me know that he is in peace where there is no more pain and only love.  I love him God please take care of him. My husband was the love of my life and I miss him more than ever.  I need him but God decided that it was time to go.  I just hope that someday I understand why this happened.  I hope to find the answers to my questions.  I know that the only way to battle this pain is to trust God and I have to go back to my faith and rely on God to help me through this pain.  I love my husband and I miss him everyday.  I don't know how to cope with this pain.  I just want to scream and ask him to please come back.  i love him and miss him like never before.  I want to come home and see him there waiting for me.  Life seems so cruel.  Why do people die?  Why is this pain so great?  Why do we have to suffer?  I need answers and I am not getting them.