Writing this entry is kind of like a purge for me, not a vent or rant, this has bothered me and will. While today is my birthday and I know I should celebrate, kick it up, whatever, this day is very bittersweet for me. Today was the day I was born, true, I didn't ask to come into this world but I am here, but also today is the day he proposed to me after dating for 7 years, and also this is the time when "their" affair started. I have to remember my birithday, MY day, as when my family became broken. I know what you all will say, it's just not easy to move past that, not when that day signifies something that is supposed to be a happy day. It's just not. I have the "memories" of him saying to her, he wished he was with her instead of out to dinner with me, how it was their "first anniversary", blah blah. I looked in the mirror again, and could see how these 2 years have taken it's toll. I used to look 10 years younger than I am but no more....aging gracefully, I could deal with, aging to stress, not so much. Just so you know, if I am not happy today, that is why. I thank everyone that wished me a birthday, but I do have one positive that I couldn't have asked for a better present....the Steelers won...BOOYAH!!!
 

Replies

goodfight
goodfight

I was in hog heaven Steelers and the Pack! Happy Birthday! The blues suck but they get better and so will you. Hang tough and know that folks out here care for you and wish you and the boys well!!
CMondo
CMondo

Let\'s focus on the priority of the day: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I am not minimizing your suffering as you described the pain the same period is causing you, but happiness is a state of mind (Walt Disney quote).

It is up to you to sit down and remember his actions and betrayal or stand up, shake the dust since you cannot change the past, and make it a day to remember in the future - it is really up to you.

Create a new good memory that is happening today. Write a plan, put in it things that give you pleasure, go out there and do them, do it. Do it for yourself.

Your world can change and you are driving it. Stop looking at the back in the mirror and focus on the front windshield that shows you the opportunities of the road. Cheers!
deleted_user
deleted_user

CMondo gives good advice....look forward!! Today is your day...take it back! Maybe you can sit down today and make some plans for some good times for you and the boys to share, also for some good times just for you!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

YAY steelers! Just hang in there and try to make the best of this day. You deserve it for being such a kind and sweet person and good friend to me!!! :)
MonkeyB0y
MonkeyB0y

Prediction...Packers 21...Steelers 20
deleted_user
deleted_user

Well,it\'s your day, to appreciate your birth, your life, your present!
Even tho right now,it\'s not a bed of roses, but it\'s a bed of Steelers!
So enjoy the good stuff, and stuff the bad stuff for just today!
Happy Birthday sweetie! Love ya lots lisa, we all do!
Misred
Misred

Although you are in a bad place, I predict it is temporary. You will feel different a year from now and it will only get better. I know this because you are clawing the way to the top Girl. You\'re gonna kick ass and know one is gonna steal your joy anymore. Your birthday....YOUR DAY will be reclaimed. (((HUGS))))