I  am so fkn stressed right now. Hubby works nights, so we NEVER spend time together. Him playing world of warcraft while i am in the kitchen cooking, cleaning whatever, is not time together. I'm tired of my son not fkn listening to me. Idk what to do anymore. It's cause his routine got fkd up with my husband moving from a day job to a night job. Ugh! I just don't know what to do anymore. the only time hubby and I get together is if we somehow manage time to have sex once or twice a week. I miss my husband. I miss being able to do things as a family, not feeling like i'm a single mom cause my husband sleeps during the time i need to get stuff done so i'm doing it alone w/ Aaron. I need to learn to do stuff for myself but i always feel guilty if i take the little time i get with Aaron for myself. I know, i know, I can't be a good mom until i'm good to myself, blah blah, easier said than done. I hate my job. I'm on stupid birth control pills so I don't get pregnant cause if i did it would probably kill me, yet they make me depressed as hell anyways that i'll probably die from something else. Idk. I'm so depressed and I have no one to talk to. I can't talk to my husband cause unless it's about religion or world of warcraft its like talking to a brick wall. He just has no interest in it. then wonders why I'm not so into his conversations. They are always about the same things. I feel stupid cause i don't know much about the stuff he talks about so what am I supposed to do? just sit there with a blank stare? I try to put in my two cents but i'm dumb and it doesn't make sense so I don't say anything and he gets mad cause i'm "not into it". Yeah, I'm book smart, pretty much, I can bullshit my way through papers. I read a topic and then i'm good. retaining it however, yeah that doesn't work so much anymore. I just feel so stupid and like a big dumb loser cause shit never works for me. I can't lose weight, I starve myself, i gain weight, i work out, i gain weight, wtf? My son doesn't listen to me so that makes me feel like a failure as a mom. Idk. idk idk idk.