Days
It's days like today that I really hate myself. There is this festival in town called Action Fest. It is a weekend long thing, where there is live music in the park, a beverage garden, a slo-pitch tournament. It is a lot of fun for a bunch of people, but not for me. Today, I went down to the park twice. I spent probably close to 2 hours there. I spent maybe 15 minutes talking to people my own age, and that aren't my family. It was horrible. There was pretty much no one there that I can really hang out with. No one that I am kind of close to. And I am just way to shy, and neurotic to actually talk to anyone I don't know. There were a lot of cute girls, but I just couldn't go up and talk to them, and I hate myself for it. And like, there is a dance on tonight, and instead of going, I am sitting at home, moping. I feel like scum, because I feel just worthless. I can't get a job, can barely talk to anyone I don't know, unless they talk to me first. I hate it. I hate myself. I just don't know what to do....
Replies
You shouldn\'t hate yourself, it\'s never easy talking to people you don\'t know. But don\'t let your shyness stop you from having a social life. There are people out there who are easy to talk to, but you gotta go up to them first. They aren\'t just going to go to you...not usually. I used to be very shy to, but I realized most people are really nice and easy to talk to. Try some small talk, asking a simple question or maybe a compliment.
But see, you just brought up another part of my problem. I never know what to talk about. I am always worried about making a fool of myself and that someone might be judging me and thinking that I am wierd. And maybe there are some people that are easy to talk to, but the people who bullied me weren\'t. Every word I said, they made fun of me for it, so it is very hard for me to talk to anyone in person.
Oh my, well sadly people are always going to judge you. Try not to let that get you though. I\'m sorry you were bullied, people can be cruel and insensitive.
Oh and about being weird, there is nothing wrong with that. I am pretty weird myself, but honestly i think it\'s waaaay better than being \"normal.\" It sounds soo cliche, but be yourself.
At that festival you mentioned, if you saw a girl you were attracted to you should say something like \"what do you think of music?\" and the conversation should go from there. It sounds scary i know, but it\'s better to try and wonder \"what if,\" you know?
You\'re great at just talking with me :)
, i\'m sure you would be with anyone else too, if you were able to just relax somehow in the situation and be confident about taking the chance . I do get the same way though.. I way too often (getting better) assume people are judging me and thinking i\'m weird, when it\'s really me that\'s mainly in control of the situation and of my confidence. If you think about it, in a way it\'s possible to control how others see you just by making yourself be that person you wanna be , which is who you already are deep down... (just knowing that has really helped me )..
hope this helps a little (sometimes i\'m bad at explaining myself )
\"Every word I said, they made fun of me for it, so it is very hard for me to talk to anyone in person.\"
i\'m so sorry to here this :( awe..
i can definetly relate