Update
Hello everyone. It's been a long time. I've finally decided it's time to write an update cause I'm miserable and I need to.
Ok, so there is good news and bad news. I'm not really sure what to start with..... maybe I'll go with good news first. More bad news than good, so it'll be easier to start with the good. Won't be so long.
Ok, so my good news first. I have a girlfriend! Yay! Took me long enough, but I finally had a girl say yes. Her name is Sara. She is beautiful and wonderful and when I'm with her, she completes me. But there is a little problem. She lives about an hour flight from me. It is a little hard sometimes, cause I wish she was closer, but not much I can do about that. I've gotten to hang out with her a few times, which is really nice. One thing that is really nice is that she took my virginity. I am finally no longer a virgin. It was amazing. I'm not going to go into details though. That's about all of the good news. Onto the bad news.
So bad news now. I've really started to fall apart. I've had some more breakdowns recently, and I'm feeling down more. I think that's a bi-product of getting to spend time with Sara and then not being able to. Little things are bugging me too. It's getting hard on me. I broke down a week ago with my mom talking to me. She thought I should go get help. I agree, but I can't do it. I have a problem asking for help. I can say, 'I need help', but I won't ask for it. I don't really know what to do anymore. And to make things harder, Sara doesn't think I need help because I'm always happy around her, which is true. I just don't know anymore. I want to get help, but I don't know if I'm ready too. Feel free to add your opinion if you read this. Doubt anyone will..... Oh yeah, one more thing. I've had a couple suicidal thoughts recently. Actually two days before my mom confronted me. I was driving and it was late and some lady was coming on a side street towards me and it looked like she wasn't going to stop. She finally did, but my first thought was 'why can't you just cut around and hit me?' I feel bad about it, cause I really don't want to die. I might if things don't work out with Sara and me, but things are looking really good so far. We'll just have to wait and see I guess. I'm really hoping it all works out.
Well I guess that is about it. Quiet an update. I hope this helps. If anyone reads this and has any questions, message me or send me a hug.
PS One more thing I almost forgot, I'm looking at trying out for the Kelowna Rockets of the WHL. That is two steps below the NHL, so we'll just have to wait and see.
Ok, so there is good news and bad news. I'm not really sure what to start with..... maybe I'll go with good news first. More bad news than good, so it'll be easier to start with the good. Won't be so long.
Ok, so my good news first. I have a girlfriend! Yay! Took me long enough, but I finally had a girl say yes. Her name is Sara. She is beautiful and wonderful and when I'm with her, she completes me. But there is a little problem. She lives about an hour flight from me. It is a little hard sometimes, cause I wish she was closer, but not much I can do about that. I've gotten to hang out with her a few times, which is really nice. One thing that is really nice is that she took my virginity. I am finally no longer a virgin. It was amazing. I'm not going to go into details though. That's about all of the good news. Onto the bad news.
So bad news now. I've really started to fall apart. I've had some more breakdowns recently, and I'm feeling down more. I think that's a bi-product of getting to spend time with Sara and then not being able to. Little things are bugging me too. It's getting hard on me. I broke down a week ago with my mom talking to me. She thought I should go get help. I agree, but I can't do it. I have a problem asking for help. I can say, 'I need help', but I won't ask for it. I don't really know what to do anymore. And to make things harder, Sara doesn't think I need help because I'm always happy around her, which is true. I just don't know anymore. I want to get help, but I don't know if I'm ready too. Feel free to add your opinion if you read this. Doubt anyone will..... Oh yeah, one more thing. I've had a couple suicidal thoughts recently. Actually two days before my mom confronted me. I was driving and it was late and some lady was coming on a side street towards me and it looked like she wasn't going to stop. She finally did, but my first thought was 'why can't you just cut around and hit me?' I feel bad about it, cause I really don't want to die. I might if things don't work out with Sara and me, but things are looking really good so far. We'll just have to wait and see I guess. I'm really hoping it all works out.
Well I guess that is about it. Quiet an update. I hope this helps. If anyone reads this and has any questions, message me or send me a hug.
PS One more thing I almost forgot, I'm looking at trying out for the Kelowna Rockets of the WHL. That is two steps below the NHL, so we'll just have to wait and see.
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