Well, my Aunt is doing poorly now, she can't digest anything anymore, so she is barely drinking those protein drink, and water. Its amazing how this horrible disease can take over your body. Its so sad, she is so aware, so able to talk about things, life, recipes, and she is in a lot constant and there is nothing for that I can do for her. Its sad and frustrating. I made all these italian easter pies that she likes, but she can't eat any of it, she wants to, but can't. Everything just comes right back up. Its overwhelming, my poor dad, just watching and unable to do anything at all. He said "its a terrible thing, i am a doctor and I help people, but I couldn't help mommy and now I can't help my sister" its heartbreaking. I don't know what to say. I go and visit her because I know that he wants me to, but its hard and brings back the memories of my mother that I want to forget, the final days of pain. My aunt said to me, its like I am being crucified, I can't eat, I can't walk, I can't see (from cateracts that are bad), I can't do anything, ry whats the point. ..... and as awful as this may sound, I don't really know what the point is, why should anyone have to suffer, and she is suffering.  I don't know. My cousin is in a bad way right now, and i get it, I've walked in her shoes, and I miss my mom so much, so much. ITs so mentally draining, this whole cruel joke of a waiting game to see how much one can suffer. I am sorry, this is a bad entry. I don't want to bring anyone down. I am going to try and relax with a cup of chamomile before I start dinner. sigh......