I think I am going a little backwards again. I miss mom all the time and can't stop thinking about her and how big the kids are getting and I still just can't believe that she is not sharing all these things with me. I took the kids skiing this past weekend and they really are getting the hang of it, my 3 year old even took a lesson and laughed when my husband took him up the chairlift and down the mountain.  it was very adorable to watch. My husband catches me in my thoughts and says talk to me, and i just can't ..... sometimes its easy, he is feeling it and i don't know what to do. he says I have a wall up sometimes and he feels left out. I just want to be ... no talking... i don't know how to tell him how destroyed I feel without my mother.  I have an amazing family, 3 great kids, I am blessed. ..But, I feel alone lately. I miss her and it affects me alot. My kids have off this week and I asked my 6 and 8 year old to make a wish list of what they want to do and I am going to try to make them enjoy their week off. They will keep me from getting lost in my thoughts and focus on making them smiling. So , I am going to work on that . Wish me luck!! Hope all is well with everyone, sending prayers and hugs!!