its been awhile. I read on DS all the time, but my computer has been acting up, and just when I finish writing a detailed journal entry it has frozen up and I am crying and just turn it off. Very frustrating when you pour your heart into a journal. So I will try to get it all on here and send it again. I have been having a really rough few weeks. Crying 3-4 times a day.... just really missing mom. It has been hard, I have called my sisters, but they are busy with their own lives and i know its hard. I reach out to some of my friends and it does some good some of the time. Yesterday was nice, my Dad came and took my 8 year old for 2 hours after school, and they enjoyed each others company. Then we all had dinner together and he stayed til 8pm, just before i got the kids ready for bed. He hugged me and said "i know its hard lovey" and I just cried. I know he misses her terribly. But it was a nice night with him and the boys. We talked about making a cookbook with all of mommy;s recipes. So, that is my project, to do that with my Dad and one of my sisters. Finish it and maybe give it as a gift for everyone at Christmas. She was such an amazing cook, and I have been trying so hard to get some of her meals down to perfection. It is hard. I wish I could be strong, everyone keeps reminding me how strong she was and how blessed we were to have her as long as we did. It will never seem like it was enough. I miss her, more and more and just when things are going ok, i fall apart. anyway its a very cold day today. So, I am hanging in with my 3 year old, throwing away old magazines and trying to get more organized. wish me luck. thanks.