Well, I got thru my son's First Communion last night with my family. It was really hard not to have my mother there with me. I tried to do all that she would have done, and I did the best that I could do. I really didn't feel up to celebrating anything. But i know that I have to for my sons. My father was right there beside me and it was so hard to keep it together in Church during the ceremony. I lost it a few times, but I guess you dig deep and get thru things. I just miss her, hearing her voice, telling a story and hearing her laugh, watching her with the kids. I just can't believe it, I can't believe that I only have photographs and videos to see her and feel her. When does the pain, the incredible pain start to not feel so strong. My whole body is aching. It was so great to have my whole family there, it was almost perfect. Almost. My son told me he felt her, the boy is 7 years old and said she was with him all day. It breaks my heart.