Been having really bad few days, just can't seem to stop crying everywhere I go and I have much to do. My son's First Communion is this weekend and I want to try to do everything my mother would have done with me so that it feels like she is here. But I miss her soo much. I found an old message on my cell phone yesterday and it is incredible how much I just want to talk to her and hug her. I miss hugging her sooo much, it is so painful and I don't know what I can do. My father had such a bad day yesterday, couldn't get the images of the last few days with her out of his mind. When she was asking for help and we couldn't do anything and she kept saying how sorry she was b/c she knew she was dying and there was nothing we could say or do for her. My heart is so broken for me, for her for my siblings and especially for my father. I don't know how to do this.