Going thru all the necessary paperwork and I just feel such a weight on my chest. Just going thru the motions with my father and my sister today. Trying to organize all the things that my mother took care of. I just miss her so much.... I wish I could talk to her or see her in my dreams ... just stop thinking about the last week with her and all the pain she endured knowing there was nothing more that could save her, no more treatments or doctors. It's been so awful talking to my father. She was everything, the rock of the family and I just want to keep it together, keep us together and try to remember everything she said to me. I feel so alone and I know I am not the only one to go thru this, but I never knew it would hurt so much, I could imagine but never this bad. I just got my boys to bed and now I find myself still looking for cures even after she is gone, wondering what we could have done differently.