We were just informed that Jarretts Death Certificate is done and ready to be picked up. The words Death Certificate ripped me apart till I had a complete breakdown! Now of course that my son is gone, my mental clarity hasn't completely gone (yet) but those words felt so FINAL! I kept trying to get "approval" with my husband to just let me die so I could be with my son. I kept trying to convince him he would be fine as a single father...to make a long story short.... I REALLY lost it! Then my little boy comes and gives me a kiss and a hug and that helped bring me back down. Why is this so difficult? Its almost a month since my sons death, I have hated every second of this nightmare. How do you all find the strength to deal with this every day? On the 20th Matt and I had planned to go to the Jeff Dunham show. I stood in line for what seemed like forever, while sick with a stomach flu and taking care of my 3 year old to get front row center seats for us and our closest friends, it was supposed to be the first date night we've had since Valentines Day. Now I feel if I go and allow us to have a good time, I'm betraying my son, is it too soon? Should I get rid of our tickets? It feels so wrong. Everyone is trying to convince us that it would be good for us, but none have ever lost a child, they can't understand this. I need some advise.