Today I took the final step in accepting the loss of my little angel and moving on. I'm pretty well known for my daiper cakes and I was asked to make one for my friends baby shower this weekend. When I lost my baby back in March I put all my daiper cake supplies in storage and vowed never to make one for another person as long as I lived. I mean how do you celebrate bringing someone elses child into the world when you will never see your own? My baby would have been due this coming week and I wasn't really sure how I would handle this when the time came. In fact I asked my friends not to even tell me the date of the shower, I didn't even want to be invited. I guess now that I'm pregnant again, they thought I'd feel differently. I agreed to do the cake and prayed that god would give me the strength to put it together. Surprisingly, I got through the entire process without a single tear. I think I'm finally okay. But I worry every single day about this new baby. I'm hoping everything will be okay, I've still got such a long way to go. I'm sure if I wasn't pregnant again that there would be no way I'd be able to put this thing together and go to this shower Sunday. I have my next ultrasound on Monday. I'm terrified and excitied, I hope everything is okay. I really need it to be okay.