today

why is it that when everything is sweet in my life a HUGE change comes along? since this bp up came along on the 6th of June everything I do is working out perfectly.i cant go wrong its just so easy to find what I need, connect with who I need and all done on a wave of energy that just dont quit. but this latest and greatest change is almost more than i can accept.not only finding love but finding a new place to live - a whole new direction.all my dreams seem to be coming true one after anotherdominocan i keep smiling and saying yes?do i deserve such happiness? or is it going to turn to crap just as it always has before?is it Just One of Those Things?or have i earned it after 6/ 7 years of pretty much undiluted hell.?if it stays with me then i just say thank you for the wanting to die that has brought such abundant life along with it.and if it does turn to crap and Mr X is full of shit you know what i couldnt care less.there's so many more people out there who i could love and who would love me too. im so grateful Im not a homely gal, slick and styly is me= the slickster.Im the Top Im the smile on the Mona Lisa.....thanks to all the people who said I couldnt do it, it wasnt true, wouldnt last, that Id gone off the track, fighting them has brought me here. sure sign of madness-wanting to get off my meds. only lithium and a tiny bit of olanzapine now with synthroid if i go down again-i wldnt mind a bit of psychotic back-its the driving wheel of my original thinking.meds only 1 therapy support.I want mr X to be taking fewer pills. i m ok with the self medication thing and  see it more as a respomse to daily shifts in mood. ongoing meds seem a blunt weapon to all the subtle ebbs and flows.its his biz but i worry about liver and kidney damage-though having said that im a Christian scientist and there's no damage in Divine Mind.....we can work it out. 2 heads better than one and rather his than a spare in a box on my shoulder....