It seems like the world is speeding past me. Everyone is going places, has a purpose. I do know that my family does love me. And if I disappeared suddenly, they would at least notice a few days later when they ran out of clean clothes. LOL. Is that my purpose, my reason for being? If it is, I guess that is enough. Sometimes I think it would be nice to do just one great thing though. Just one thing of value. Just sometimes. My stepmother thinks I am lazy because I don't work outside the home. Maybe she is right. She thinks if I were intellegent, that I would feel a need to. But then people will be judging me, and I would always fall short. I'm not so much lazy, I just don't want to be judged anymore. I know that I will never be smart, or pretty, or talented and I don't need other people to constantly remind me of that. But then, sometimes I think it might be nice to do just one great thing. As if that were even possible.
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Being a loving mother is a GREAT thing! Not everyone can do that and personally I think it is one of the hardest things someone could do. I think you are amazing and your children are lucky to have a mother who is home for them. I grew up with my mom home all the time and my youngest brother did not, there is a huge difference in behavior and additude from just that. I gotta say nothing beats getting home from a crappy day at school in the winter and having mom there to make you hot cocoa.
Thanks Jess, just feeling existential this evening. You know alternate universe kind of stuff. Thanks for reminding me of the importance of the job I do have. Especially when other people in my life and the world tell me otherwise.
The victorious Christian life is not doing the big things, the things that the world notices. Nay. Living the victorious Christian life is following Jesus each step of the way joyfully doing what he leads. When we sing a song while doing laundry, humming a tune of gratefulness as we scrub pots and pans, praise God as our fingers get dirtied as mix ingredients for meat loaf, dressing your child as you try to find the matching sock; these moments ARE the moments of victorious Christian living. Those ARE the moments that Heaven looks upon with love and joy. When we are in the will of God, doing what he has created us to do, other people will criticize with arrogant judgement, revealing their shortsightedness in what truly matters. What matters in this lifetime is slowing down to hear the voice of God, then doing what he wants us to do. THAT is the victorious life, doing that little task the is needed to do all the time praising God for his life lived through you. You, my dear sister in Christ, are living the victorious life in Christ...with your constant presence in the life of your children, you are help building their confidence, independence, and vision to live life to the fullest. Love you, didiy